Thursday, August 4, 2022

“till the day i ___” and “dead ends/happy endings” by carobae – Song Features

     carobae writes lyrics that are honest, revealing, and compelling. Her songs reflect upon subject matter she knows and are reflections of her life. Our favorites by carobae are two songs touching upon career existentialism. “till the day i ___” questions whether she is destined to a lifetime of trying to meet the expectations of others in the pursuit of having her music heard. And “dead ends/happy endings” relates to ​carobae’s struggle in being repeatedly asked how she is handling the breakup of her band.

 

      ​carobae is an abbreviation of and performance name for Caroline Baker. She is currently based in Nashville, but is from Atlanta, Georgia. She released her debut EP "songs from 3am" in 2019 and is now headed toward the release of a debut album this fall.



      “The lyrics of “till the day i ___” describe the current existence of carobae in trying to get music in front of others, and they wonder whether it will ever change. She explains that the song is about her experiences in the music industry. She reflects how exhausting it quickly gets trying to make sure you're the perfect fit for someone else that's seemingly more important than you in order to hopefully make your dreams come true. In the chorus, she ultimately asks the question ‘Will I do this til the day I die? All to be a diamond in the sky?’ because at the end of the day all she wants is to create music and have it heard.
 
      The song admits that mistakes have been made – there are those pictures on the internet. And concessions have been made – a beer is cracked with someone old enough to be dad, ‘cause he holds all the power. We particularly admire the poetry in the despondent lines “The industry's a chokehold, Dyson vacuum sucking out my soul.”
 
     Still, carobae finishes in the positive during a skillfully layered finish of “till the day i ___”. Almost as an anthem, she declares “I feel like I'm dying, but at least I'm trying."

     "till the day i ___" by ​carobae



Lyrics of "till the day i ___" by ​carobae
There's nights I don't remember
Passed out on someone else's couch
There’re pictures on the internet
Wish I could pay to get them taken down
 
I crack a beer with someone
Who is old enough to be my dad
'Cause he holds all the power
To give me all the shit I'll never have
 
I threw up my dinner
Fuck no, did I even eat dinner?
The industry's a chokehold
Dyson vacuum sucking out my soul
Can't see straight or think right
I look down in my bathroom sink
Further in my mind
 
Will I do this till the day I
Die, die?
All to be a diamond in the sky
Sky, sky
Will I do this till the day I
 
I'm here with bleach and hair dye
And drain my empty bank account
So people will remember me
But somehow I'm stuck underneath the crowd
 
Shoot back more liquor
Sold out and I never been sicker
The industry's a chokehold
Dyson vacuum sucking out my soul
 
Can't see straight or think right
I look down in my bathroom sink
Further in my mind
 
Will I do this till the day I die
Die, die?
All to be a diamond in the
Sky, sky
Will I do this till the day I die
Die, die?
(I feel like I'm dying, but at least I'm trying
At least I'm trying)
All to be a diamond in the sky
Sky, sky
(I feel like I'm dying, but at least I'm trying
At least I'm trying)
Will I do this till the day I
Die, die?
(I feel like I'm dying, but at least I'm trying
At least I'm trying)
All to be a diamond in the sky
Sky, sky
(I feel like I'm dying, but at least I'm trying
At least I'm trying)
Will I do this till the day I___?


     There are certainly similarities between the two songs featured in this post. But the most glaring difference is exposed by comparing the conclusions. The layered vocals at the end of "till the day i ___" are attention-gripping. In contrast, “dead ends/happy endings” has an instrumental ending, as carobae shows her skills with string instruments.
 
       An interesting but less significant difference is that in the above song, carobae mentioned wishing pictures could be removed from the internet, while in “dead ends/happy endings”  finding pics to post is difficult because others who are posting are all f***in’ models. The interesting explanation of the song is pasted below:
  "dead ends/happy endings" is carobae's own existential crisis of being an artist in the music industry having to act like everything is fine every day. She came up with the idea walking around her air bnb in LA, and found every street she turned down she saw a 'dead end' sign. At the time her band had just broken up and she was starting to write for herself again (for the first time in a long time). This song is carobae's own answer to everyone's question of "how are you"? She produced and wrote the song with Sean Kennedy and arranged/performed the strings at the end. 

     “dead ends/happy endings” by ​carobae



Lyrics of “dead ends/happy endings” by ​carobae
There are dead ends and there are happy endings
There are people and people that they’re hurting
There’s a lot to swallow and I don’t wanna
There’s a dark cloud in my head that smells like marijuana
 
Message in a bottle, finger on the throttle
Hard to post a pic when they’re all fucking models
Can you hear me through this microphone?
I could leave a note or I could write a novel
 
I can’t see straight I took too many drugs
I’m literally out my brain
Locked in a green room
With some fuckin’ strangers
Asking me about my day
And I don’t really know what to say
Ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy
 
You can call it what it is or call it nothing
You can’t lie to me, cause I know what’s coming
Check your pocket or TV for some breaking news
The earth is dying just like my will for trying
And I think it’s time to move
 
Message in a bottle, finger on the throttle
Hard to post a pic when they’re all fucking models
I could give it all up and go home
I could leave a note or I could write a novel
 
I can’t see straight I took too many drugs
I’m literally out my brain
Locked in a green room
With some fuckin’ strangers
Asking me about my day
And I don’t really know what to say
Ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy
Ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy
Ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy-eeee
 
Oh, with some fuckin’ strangers
Oh, ayy, mmm, hey-ayy-ayy
Oh, I don't really know what to say

 

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